Don’t Rush Something You Want to Last
Although there is no forever in this world except the word itself.
Before reading this any further, I want you to take a deep breath slowly. Right now. What I’m about to tell you is how being unconsciously in a rush could cause you sorrow. It’s crucial for us to know when to take a literal break, take a deep breath, and calm down. Fortunately, this is something that I finally understood lately.
Growing up, we met many people. It’s nothing new if most of them leave and a few stay. People come and go; we outgrew each other and surrendered. However, some people’s departures left me hollow and blue at times. I couldn’t help but keep thinking, “From where it goes wrong?”, “Am I a terrible person?”, and so on.
As that kind of thought lingers, people keep coming and going. From a friend I enjoyed spending time with to a lover I adored. So much is happening that I admit that I’m not good at maintaining a relationship.
However, seriously, what’s going wrong? I kept on asking as the same pattern kept on leaving its marks. As if it tries to make me see something.
And I finally see something.
Now that my life has begun with a new chapter with many new people that I am suddenly getting close to, I have a chance to reevaluate how I deal with people. I noticed that it’s easy for me to form a deep connection with someone new, but that connection can also lose its heat in a blink of an eye. The main factor causing it is: I am always in a rush.
Two months of dating, and I’m getting unspeakably sad when we sometimes can’t understand each other. Weeks of a new friendship and the fear of being left behind got me to act like someone else. The unconscious urge to get everything perfect as soon as possible, combined with the personal fear of abandonment, stressed me out and made me want to end things before they hurt me. While, in fact, we got to let it hurt.
Just like any new thing, maintaining a relationship with other humans is full of trial and error that we have to pass. Isn’t it what makes it beautiful as time goes on?
Hence, indeed, it takes a lot of patience. The other thing is, if you’re a person like me, you must be fully aware that you have more time than you can imagine, especially in relationships that you want to make last longer or even forever.
Be it romantic or platonic, in any relationship that you want to preserve until the end, two weeks, two months, or even two years are short. You have forever to learn about that person and fix the errors.
And don’t forget, humans are dynamic. We’re not a machine that goes in the same pattern or cycle. We’re growing and changing. Hence, learning about a person is, indeed, something that you always got to do. So next time a lousy case emerges between you and loved ones, don’t freak out and rush things out. Work on it, and take a deep breath; you got forever.
